9.5.2005
I can't sleep. My mind races with thoughts of anxiety and wonder. It cannot seem to wrap itself around the fact that in five times 24 hours, I will wake up in another continent. What will the scenery be? How will we respond to each other? Oh, please let them like me. Unknowns can be scary and I find myself fighting to be in and enjoy the moment. A range of emotions stir in my belly and I feel, at times, that I might explode in some way shape or form. It is midnight and here I sit, in my loft, thinking, tossing and turning, and waiting for daylight. Part of me dreads the morning's greeting, because it brings my departure closer.
I desire to be content; but I would be lying if I said that boarding a large jet, while my closest friends enjoy hoards of food and violently shake pencil thin white sticks to hear the swish of orange and navy strips of plastic in the air, sounds like an enjoyable experience. (I am easily entertained.)
How I will miss the plains. That place holds my heart so tightly that I am unable to escape its grip. I find myself homesick (already) for its infamous lawn, and starving for a glimpse of the most beautiful of all sunsets that graces the southern sky each night. The hardest part is not being able to see another autumn. It seems that I wait the whole year for those few months. Fall is my favorite of Auburn's seasons, when the leaves change colors and dance to the ground. Playing frisbee, camping, and eating picnics become a regular part of everyone's schedule. So convenient it is that the faces of those I love so dearly reside within three miles of each other. It is to them that I run with all of my secrets and joys.
I tried to deny loneliness, but then I became thankful for it. Loneliness, I think, is a sure sign of true happiness. If I never felt that strange emotion, I would be lacking a life worth living. I cling to truth: "Though sorrow fills the night, joy comes in the morning..." Ah, that alone is encouraging and covers all of my mind's worry. I think I can sleep, knowing that there is One who sees all and knows all and, still, considers me. He goes before me and falls all around me. He always knows where to find me. I hope in what I cannot see, and that, faith, drives me through the day. There is peace for the anxious and assurance for the doubtful. Be encouraged, there is good to come.
I can't sleep. My mind races with thoughts of anxiety and wonder. It cannot seem to wrap itself around the fact that in five times 24 hours, I will wake up in another continent. What will the scenery be? How will we respond to each other? Oh, please let them like me. Unknowns can be scary and I find myself fighting to be in and enjoy the moment. A range of emotions stir in my belly and I feel, at times, that I might explode in some way shape or form. It is midnight and here I sit, in my loft, thinking, tossing and turning, and waiting for daylight. Part of me dreads the morning's greeting, because it brings my departure closer.
I desire to be content; but I would be lying if I said that boarding a large jet, while my closest friends enjoy hoards of food and violently shake pencil thin white sticks to hear the swish of orange and navy strips of plastic in the air, sounds like an enjoyable experience. (I am easily entertained.)
How I will miss the plains. That place holds my heart so tightly that I am unable to escape its grip. I find myself homesick (already) for its infamous lawn, and starving for a glimpse of the most beautiful of all sunsets that graces the southern sky each night. The hardest part is not being able to see another autumn. It seems that I wait the whole year for those few months. Fall is my favorite of Auburn's seasons, when the leaves change colors and dance to the ground. Playing frisbee, camping, and eating picnics become a regular part of everyone's schedule. So convenient it is that the faces of those I love so dearly reside within three miles of each other. It is to them that I run with all of my secrets and joys.
I tried to deny loneliness, but then I became thankful for it. Loneliness, I think, is a sure sign of true happiness. If I never felt that strange emotion, I would be lacking a life worth living. I cling to truth: "Though sorrow fills the night, joy comes in the morning..." Ah, that alone is encouraging and covers all of my mind's worry. I think I can sleep, knowing that there is One who sees all and knows all and, still, considers me. He goes before me and falls all around me. He always knows where to find me. I hope in what I cannot see, and that, faith, drives me through the day. There is peace for the anxious and assurance for the doubtful. Be encouraged, there is good to come.
posted by bargame at 7:27 AM
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