The Road Less Traveled
I do love that poem- It's words, feeding the mind, gently but with a certain authority. I am thinking of my road, out of the usual spiritual context, and what I imagine it to look like around the bend. I flip through the Anthropologie magazine on my desk and think to myself, for the trillionth time, how I want to be the girl in its pages. She is so eclectic, independent, calm and collected, and somehow balances a brilliant feminine composure with a mysterious coolness that one can only hope for. I look again, though, and see her masked loneliness and natural desire for companionship; I study her and am reminded that in no way do I ever want to experience that hopeless abyss.
Aren't we all that sad eyed girl in the magazine every once in a while? It is part of life, the thrill of self-sufficiency, followed by one terrifying moment, wondering if you will ever understand what it means to be identified as a part of something larger than yourself. I will be the first to admit wanting to be able to live a free life without the responsibility of some one else, doing my own thing, my way. I will also be the first to admit that aside from my many dreams of limitless adventure, I want to share every joy, tribulation, and moment in between, with my man, whoever that might be, and our slew of kiddos. I find it both exciting and a little scary to move forward in my quest to do all that I want to do. Will I be portrayed as a strong-willed, goal-oriented, anti-house wife, arrogant bitch, who traded her slip in for a jock strap, lacking time for anyone but herself and who isn't worth trying to get to know? Oh, I hope not. I truly hope not.
Two paths, both so enticing that they nearly paralyze me. I want to take them both. Neither fades from my vision or feels more distant than the other. They were seeded in my DNA. And though I don't know how they will mesh successfully, I trust that all will be just fine. So, I will lean, not on my own understanding, but instead, in all of my ways, I will acknowledge Him and He will make my path straight. Whew! What a relief.
I do love that poem- It's words, feeding the mind, gently but with a certain authority. I am thinking of my road, out of the usual spiritual context, and what I imagine it to look like around the bend. I flip through the Anthropologie magazine on my desk and think to myself, for the trillionth time, how I want to be the girl in its pages. She is so eclectic, independent, calm and collected, and somehow balances a brilliant feminine composure with a mysterious coolness that one can only hope for. I look again, though, and see her masked loneliness and natural desire for companionship; I study her and am reminded that in no way do I ever want to experience that hopeless abyss.
Aren't we all that sad eyed girl in the magazine every once in a while? It is part of life, the thrill of self-sufficiency, followed by one terrifying moment, wondering if you will ever understand what it means to be identified as a part of something larger than yourself. I will be the first to admit wanting to be able to live a free life without the responsibility of some one else, doing my own thing, my way. I will also be the first to admit that aside from my many dreams of limitless adventure, I want to share every joy, tribulation, and moment in between, with my man, whoever that might be, and our slew of kiddos. I find it both exciting and a little scary to move forward in my quest to do all that I want to do. Will I be portrayed as a strong-willed, goal-oriented, anti-house wife, arrogant bitch, who traded her slip in for a jock strap, lacking time for anyone but herself and who isn't worth trying to get to know? Oh, I hope not. I truly hope not.
Two paths, both so enticing that they nearly paralyze me. I want to take them both. Neither fades from my vision or feels more distant than the other. They were seeded in my DNA. And though I don't know how they will mesh successfully, I trust that all will be just fine. So, I will lean, not on my own understanding, but instead, in all of my ways, I will acknowledge Him and He will make my path straight. Whew! What a relief.
posted by bargame at 12:43 PM
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