A walk in the park of understanding
Life becomes a personal abyss of how's so easily. And it seems the answers are elementary: trust and have faith; but when you are hit in the face with the unexpected, the solution to the equation begins to look like a physics problem. So what do you do?
I am merely man and He is God. There came a point when I surrendered all of my inhibitions, my flesh, my rights to Him. He is now my Lord. I am not my own god, therefore I obey Him because I love Him and I respect Him, just as a small child does a parent He adores. Take it all out of context and put yourself in a location where the common and expected mind set is to shun evil and seek perfection. How do you balance the unrelenting love burning in your soul and the mass of voices telling you how to manage your soul? You don't. I am not capable, on my own strength, to carry the burden which this world has so graciously given to me.
Jesus walked with the lowly, the dirty, the unacceptable, we all know this. Jesus loved them...Really loved them. He had a compassion that was unquenchable for these who were ignored by all the rest. He dined with them, laughed with them, shared a life with them; Yet, He still hated their sin. He hated the darkness that controlled them, He hated the lies that possessed them. He was willing to do whatever it took to show them the depths of His anger and sorrow.
Jesus spoke with the elite. He conversed with them. He taught them. He listened to them and laughed with them too. He loved them...Really loved them. He has a compassion that was unquenchable for these who were known by all the rest.
Yet, He still hated their sin. He hated the pompous speech that exuded their lips. He hated their righteous attitudes. He hated that they were too preoccupied to help the one who needed them. He hated the way they allowed their flesh to rule their actions. He was willing to do whatever it took to show them the depths of His anger and sorrow.
So. He transferred the mold of our rotting flesh onto Himself and did nothing while it ate at Him until it killed Him so that we would not have to go through it ourselves. What now? We're all in this together, a world full of sinners, all of us offered the same grace. One is not better than the other and none are offered an unequal amount. It isn't about us. It isn't about feeling uncomfortable or rejected. It is not about saving ourselves from whatever it is we want to be saved of. It is about Jesus. It is about a Kingdom that we as humans can not fathom for all its Glory and complexity.
I am now faced with the question that is killing me: How do I support and love and continue building this relationship with one who means so very much to me without rejecting, hindering, or demeaning?
My mind, usually hard as lead, is now broken, in knots, throbbing. My heart is tender and pounding. I wish I could communicate without emotion, speaking the words that need to be heard. But I am speechless and when I try to talk, my tight throat constricts the syllables that are trying to escape. Am I being heard or is my heart's monologue overpowered by the set ideas that fill their ears? Lord, be the filter that removes the chaff from my outpouring. Fill my heart with honor and let my words be few. Your grace is sufficient for all of our needs. Show us the balance. I trust you with this mustard seed.
Life becomes a personal abyss of how's so easily. And it seems the answers are elementary: trust and have faith; but when you are hit in the face with the unexpected, the solution to the equation begins to look like a physics problem. So what do you do?
I am merely man and He is God. There came a point when I surrendered all of my inhibitions, my flesh, my rights to Him. He is now my Lord. I am not my own god, therefore I obey Him because I love Him and I respect Him, just as a small child does a parent He adores. Take it all out of context and put yourself in a location where the common and expected mind set is to shun evil and seek perfection. How do you balance the unrelenting love burning in your soul and the mass of voices telling you how to manage your soul? You don't. I am not capable, on my own strength, to carry the burden which this world has so graciously given to me.
Jesus walked with the lowly, the dirty, the unacceptable, we all know this. Jesus loved them...Really loved them. He had a compassion that was unquenchable for these who were ignored by all the rest. He dined with them, laughed with them, shared a life with them; Yet, He still hated their sin. He hated the darkness that controlled them, He hated the lies that possessed them. He was willing to do whatever it took to show them the depths of His anger and sorrow.
Jesus spoke with the elite. He conversed with them. He taught them. He listened to them and laughed with them too. He loved them...Really loved them. He has a compassion that was unquenchable for these who were known by all the rest.
Yet, He still hated their sin. He hated the pompous speech that exuded their lips. He hated their righteous attitudes. He hated that they were too preoccupied to help the one who needed them. He hated the way they allowed their flesh to rule their actions. He was willing to do whatever it took to show them the depths of His anger and sorrow.
So. He transferred the mold of our rotting flesh onto Himself and did nothing while it ate at Him until it killed Him so that we would not have to go through it ourselves. What now? We're all in this together, a world full of sinners, all of us offered the same grace. One is not better than the other and none are offered an unequal amount. It isn't about us. It isn't about feeling uncomfortable or rejected. It is not about saving ourselves from whatever it is we want to be saved of. It is about Jesus. It is about a Kingdom that we as humans can not fathom for all its Glory and complexity.
I am now faced with the question that is killing me: How do I support and love and continue building this relationship with one who means so very much to me without rejecting, hindering, or demeaning?
My mind, usually hard as lead, is now broken, in knots, throbbing. My heart is tender and pounding. I wish I could communicate without emotion, speaking the words that need to be heard. But I am speechless and when I try to talk, my tight throat constricts the syllables that are trying to escape. Am I being heard or is my heart's monologue overpowered by the set ideas that fill their ears? Lord, be the filter that removes the chaff from my outpouring. Fill my heart with honor and let my words be few. Your grace is sufficient for all of our needs. Show us the balance. I trust you with this mustard seed.
posted by bargame at 3:13 PM
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